I Want To Go Home
by Fira21
Summary: RoyEd War may bring us apart, but love will bring us back together. First songfic! slight angst but fluffy ending


Disclaimer: The day you see Ed snap, pin Roy against his desk, and kiss him senseless is the day that I (and the rest of the RoyEd fangirls out there) own Fullmetal Alchemist.

_Another summer day has come and gone away_

_In Paris and Rome, but I want to go home  
Maybe surrounded by a million people  
I still feel all alone, just want to go home  
Oh I miss you, you know_

It was sunny, how ironic, considering the conditions.

As light poured across the camp he glared. It shouldn't be so beautiful when everything else was so, for lack of a better word, ugly. He could here the screams from his place outside the medical ward. He held back a wince. The last fight was bloody, no doubt about it.

_And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you  
They each were a line or two, I'm fine baby, how are you  
I would send them but I know that it's just not enough  
My words were cold and flat and you deserve more than that_

His pen scratched across the once pristine white sheet of paper, now covered in ink and long places of black where he had blotted out the letters.

He sighed and crumpled another sheet. The words just wouldn't come. They weren't..._him_. It didn't express how he felt, how much he wanted to see the blonde, and how much he wanted the hell out of here.

He couldn't tell him all the gruesome details but he also couldn't write "I'm fine". It was a lie, and they both knew it. There was no way he could be "fine" in a place like this.

_Another airplane, another sunny place  
I'm lucky, I know, but I want to go home  
I got to go home, let me go home  
I'm just too far from where you are  
I want to come home_

_And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life  
It's like I just stepped outside when everything was going right  
And I know just why you could not come along with me  
That this was not your dream, but you always believed in me_

Five months. Five excruciating months of fighting, of bloodshed, of praying that he didn't die so that he could go home and see Ed. He wished he could see him, but at the same time glad he wasn't here. If Ed hadn't have quit the military, he would be and Roy didn't know if he could stand having Ed fight; knowing that, at any moment, he could die. No, it was bad enough _he_ was here, but people who fought in war, were people who got promotions, as disgusting as that was.

He glared, this time at the female soldier who saw fit to _sing_ at a time like this. Especially since the words portrayed exactly how he was feeling.

Well, him and the rest of the camp. Quite a few of the men had unshed tears in their eyes (quite a few more were already crying).

_Another winter day has come and gone away  
In either Paris and Rome, and I want to go home  
Let me go home_

"Sir! Roy sir!"

He looked up from his crumpled letter, if it could even be called that. He flicked his fingers and burned it just as a young boy ran up to him.

He frowned. The boy couldn't have been any older than 15, too young to be in something as gruesome as this. He chose to ignore the fact that he wasn't much older in _his_ first battle.

"What is it?" He could see Hawkeye walking over, curious about the commotion.

"Roy sir, it's the Fuhrer."

"What about him?"

"Sir, he's... he's dead, sir."

He, Hawkeye (who had reached his side), and anyone within hearing range (basically the entire camp) froze. The girl had stopped singing.

"He's... what?"

"Dead sir." The boy was solemn now, his earlier excitement at finding Roy gone. He held out a letter. "I was told to give you this."

Roy almost tore open the envelope. His eyes scanned the letter quickly and his brain saw fit to disconnect from his body. His fingers loosened their grip, and the paper fluttered to the ground. His vision was unfocused; his brain registered nothing but pure shock.

"What... What is it?" Hawkeye bent to grab the paper.

He answered before she could read it.

"I'm... the new Fuhrer."

Hawkeye's eyes widened in disbelief before she read the words in her hand, eventually she slumped down onto the ground, mouth agape, still not quite excepting the fact that Roy was telling the truth.

And if that's _Hawkeye_ was reacting, you can only imagine how Roy felt.

'_I'm the Fuhrer. I'm the Fuhrer! _I'm_ the Fuhrer!_'

"Sir?" Roy shook his head to clear the mess his brain was in and looked to the boy again. He fidgeted under his gaze. "Well, I was told to ask what you were going to do."

He didn't quite understand what he meant, but then he realized... The war... What was he going to do about the war?

The boy was still shifting slightly as if scared of his new 'boss'.

Roy didn't want that, he didn't want people to fear him like they did Bradley. He wanted respect, yes, but not fear. He smiled at the boy who, hesitantly, gave him a small smile back.

He stood, eyes narrowing in determination. The boy really was young, _too_ young to be ready for war. And to be perfectly honest, he didn't think _anyone_ was ready for war.

"Tell them I want to meet with the head of Kahvaar." He turned to Hawkeye, who was biting her lip, eyes filled with hope.

He didn't let her down.

"We're getting the hell out of here."

_And I'm surrounded by a million people  
I still feel alone, let me go home  
Oh I miss you, you know _

_Let me go home _

Edward sighed and looked to the empty gap that filled the left side of his bed. The bed that once had seemed too small was now agonizingly..._huge_.

He grabbed a pillow and breathed in.

His scent was fading. Everything that had once smelled of cinnamon and charcoal was starting to mingle with his own and dissipate. Every time he breathed and was reminded more of blueberry then of fire, another little part of him died.

He stopped the tears before they came. He had cried too much already. He just lay there waiting for sleep that he knew would never come.

He had tried to read books, but too often found himself drifting, staring off into space thinking of his dark-haired lover.

He tried going out but kept running into people. He loved Winry and Al, he really did, but he couldn't take seeing them so happy together right now, not with Roy gone.

He had gotten angry with himself more than once. He used to go on missions before without him, used to go on vacation, visit the old bat Pinako and Winry (when she was still living with her), used to do a lot of things on his own.

But that was before he had gotten so used to having someone around, used to greeting Roy home when he was back first, and used to _being_ greeted in return, when he was the one who was late.

He had gotten used to falling asleep in someone arms wrapped protectively around him, used to waking up to a smirk and a kiss.

To put it bluntly, he had gotten used to being loved.

Smelling the pillow once more, he sighed and placed it back slightly tilted, the way he liked it.

"Hmm, maybe I could burn something to get the fire smell back."

He laughed, which then slowly turned to sobs, and the tears he had tried to hold back poured out.

He turned so his face was buried in his own pillow. Roy had always hated hearing him cry but there was no one here to stop him now.

_I've had my run, baby I'm done  
I've got to go home, let me go home  
It will all be alright, I'll be home tonight _

He heard something almost like a sigh and felt the bed sag. A hand rubbed at his back soothingly.

"Ed. Please stop. I hate when you cry."

He turned slowly.

He had barely slept since he left, had had plenty of hallucinations, his vision was blurred from the tears, but there was no mistaking it...

Roy was sitting on his bed.

He hiccupped and rubbed at his eyes to clear away the tears.

He heard Roy sigh again and saw him smile.

"R...Roy."

"Hey Ed." His fingers brushed through his hair, traced his cheek and rested against his neck as Roy leaned down to kiss him.

Ed kissed back fiercely, his hands desperately gripping Roy's hair to pull his body overtop him.

Roy made his way down the blonde's chin, to his neck and back to meet his lips again.

He pulled away when he felt Ed's body shudder.

"Ed?" He was crying again.

"I didn't hear an... anything. And... And now you're..." The sobs that racked his body now overtook him, and he buried his face in his lover's neck.

"Ed. Oh god Ed." He hugged him tightly, kissing ever inch of the blonde that he could reach while he was still crying.

"Roy...Please...Please..." He tried to grasp words that just wouldn't come, but Roy understood. His fingers deftly undid the buttons of his coat and it slid to the floor. The same happened to his shoes, shirt, pants, and ever other piece of clothing on him, along with Ed's.

Their lovemaking was anything but gentle but they both didn't care. They just needed it; they needed the passion, the feeling of completion.

Ed strained against him. "Roy." This was what he had missed the most. Roy inside him, everywhere, the feeling of drowning and floating at the same time, until he finally reached completion.

Roy groaned as his senses overtook him. Five months without this, without Ed, was too damn long. He heard Ed moan his name, and felt him tighten around him.

That was all he needed and he climaxed with a shout that had Ed's name in it somewhere. He collapsed and heard Ed groan in protest. He smiled and just ignored him.

As he lay overtop the blonde, he stroked his tear-streaked face.

"I love you." He whispered, but Ed was asleep, and he was still crying.

As he rolled them both so that he was on the bottom and not crushing the blonde, he realized he would have to talk to Hawkeye tomorrow.

It was an atmospheric phenomenon, it had to be.

It was raining inside his house. **(1)**

_I'm coming back home_

_  
_Me: Eeeee! I'm done! My first RoyEd fanfic! Yay! I'm so proud of myself!  
Kaida: Took you long enough  
Me: Oh quiet. Ooo! Btw, this is also my first songfic! Tell me whatcha think.  
Kaida: Meh, it's never quite as good as it is in your head.  
(?): Not bad (walks off)  
Me: Huh, don't normally get compliments from him; normally he's my cynical side

**(1)** If you haven't seen this episode I won't ruin it for you. But Roy uses raining as a metaphor for him crying


End file.
